Posted by: myroadtoemmaus | November 11, 2008

“to whom shall i go?”

WordPress has an interesting feature where it enables you to see what words/phrases people typed in that led them to your bog.

“dara torres naked” was the most shocking one for me.

Moving on.

Some days (and weeks… and months…) are just plain dry.  It’s just the way it is.  God has His purposes.  He is in no way “less near”.  It just often feels like it.  He hasn’t left.  He never forsakes.  But it is during these times that I feel so tested.  Some moments, I just miss Him– similarly to how I would miss Russell if he was away for a week or two.  Other moments, I grow frustrated and agitated.  On those days, my instinct is to just stop trying- to stop praying- to go “do something… anything”. 

But as of late, this one little phrase has been ingrained in my mind.  Daily, it seems like I say these same words to the Lord.  In my driest moment- in my loneliest moment- in my most frustrated moment, I whisper to Him,

“To whom shall I go?  For only You have the words of eternal life.”

You see, Jesus didn’t promise a lot of what we as Christians often believe that life should look like.  In fact, He promised quite the opposite– but we don’t really like to read those verses.  The persecution and division and judgment– surely that was for another day, right?  It makes us feel uncomfortable, unnerved even. 

But look at the context of this verse (John 8).  Jesus has just gathered everyone around him and boldly proclaims, “Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you.”  Sure, we have a context now for what Jesus was talking about then.  But can you even imagine?  Put yourself in the shoes of someone in the crowd.  Put yourself in Peter’s shoes.  The Man for who you have decided to leave it all and follow is now insisting that you eat of His flesh and drink of His blood. 

Everyone else around you starts to walk away, muttering under their breaths that this Man is crazy, that He has surely lost it.  The Scriptures even say that “Many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more”.  It was this saying, this teaching– that caused many of His disciples to walk away!  Then, imagine Jesus turning to you, with the eyes that you have learned to trust, as He says, “What about you?  Do you also want to go away?”

This is a glimpse into how I have felt as of late.  The Bible isn’t easy to understand.  Jesus said so many things that seemingly do not fit into my little ideal box of what I think God is and should be like.  And yet where else do I go?  He is the only one with the words of eternal life. 

There is none like Him.  No, not one.  No love is higher.  No love is deeper.  No love is wider.  No love is truer.  No one else is worth living for.

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