Posted by: myroadtoemmaus | May 18, 2010

true sacrifices part 2

Sometimes being successful simply means not giving up.  Atleast, I hope it does.

Month after month after month goes by in this spiritual greenhouse of an environment and yet I have been in the longest, driest season of my life.  There have been those occasional moments where I have felt like my spirit is engaging with the Lord but the majority of the time, it has felt like (to steal a quote I heard from the other day) God went on vacation and forgot to tell me.  Now the truth of the matter is that God never goes on vacation.  These seasons are normal.  We all experience them.  His presence never leaves… even though it certainly feels like it. 

Several weeks ago, I was wrestling through this, praying and asking the Lord, ‘Where have you been?  Why has it been so dry?’  His answer wasn’t audible.  But He did answer me and He whispered to my heart, ‘I wanted to see if you would keep walking’.  Just like that, the floodgates opened.  You see, I was feeling like I was doing anything but walking.  I was struggling with my devotion.  I was feeling so little desire and hunger.  My spiritual discipline?  Haven’t really gotten that one down.  But walking?  One step in front of the next?  Just not stopping.  Yes, I guess by virtue of definition, I had been walking… at the pace of a turtle and falling quite often… but walking.

Last summer, while I was receiving prayer with a friend of mine who was visiting, a man shared the following picture with me.  He was seeing a picture of a train moving ever so slowly towards a cement wall.  By the time the train collided with the wall, the wall crumbled in an instant.  The man prayed over me that He sensed I was that train and that I was heading towards a breakthrough.  However, it would not be the speed of the train that would cause the wall to collapse.  It would be the strength that the train had cultivated over time.  I was the train…  and I was so concerned with my pace that I was oblivious to how the Lord was strengthening me in the process. 

Waiting, with the occasional trial thrown in the midst, is hard.  It’s so hard that every other time in my life where God has gone “on vacation”, I have too.  I have given up, walked away, thrown my hands up and said, ‘It’s just too hard.  I just can’t do it.’  Left to my own ability to follow Him, I am hopeless.  But, if He is the one drawing me, leading me, showing me His goodness, calling to me, alluring me, strengthening me, and most of all- committed to me, then I can do my part.  One foot in front of the other… even when it looks like a limp… I can keep walking.

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Responses

  1. Thanks for this incredible post, my friend. I so resonate with where you’re coming from.

    Love to you and your pink little bean!


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