Posted by: myroadtoemmaus | July 14, 2010

spiritual nesting

What is spiritual nesting?  Well, it’s what happens when you want to be physically nesting but are working full-time.

I never really understood the whole nesting thing.  I smiled and nodded when people talked about washing the soon-to-be-born baby’s clothes sixteen times, vacuuming behind the couch, and thoroughly cleaning each shelf in the pantry.  To me, that seemed a bit overboard and well, slightly too Type-A for my laid-back personality… or so I thought.

But then I found myself in the strange predicament of wanting to do the same.  Maybe it was the fact that my sister threw me  a shower while I was barely starting to show or the never ending nausea of the first trimester that made each week feel like five.  Maybe it is because I bought all of our cloth diapers when I was six weeks pregnant and a highchair (which Russell likes to remind me that Baby Capps won’t use for another 9 months – but what can I say- when I see a deal, I snag it!) a few days after that.  Maybe it was due to the heartache of the miscarriage and the inexpressible joy of finding out that I was pregnant again so soon after.  All I know is that these last six months have felt like sixty and I can hardly think about anything else than October 11th-ish and getting to see this baby.  What I wrote off as being OCD has become the very thing that I find myself longing to do… anything and everything that relates to getting ready for this baby.

The problem, however, is when this inherent desire collides with a 50-hour work week at IHOP and I’m left to daydream about nesting more than I can actually do any of it on my own.  I had no idea how difficult this would be for me.  I finally was able to put words to it last week and soon after, I found myself sitting in the Prayer Room wanting to focus and engage but instead, I was yet again mentally adding items to my registry and sketching another picture of the furniture set-up of the nursery in my journal.  As I started to pray about the tension I was feeling, wanting to be at home and yet having to work long weeks, I started to wonder if what I really ought to be doing during these last three months is spiritually preparing my heart to become a mom rather than physically preparing the house.

Now this wasn’t a completely novel idea to me.  Russell and I have been reading from parenting books out loud to one another before we go to bed each night.  I have been seeking the advice and insight of moms around me.  And I have been praying for this baby, too.  But my focus needed some serious shifting.

My life is about to drastically change in more ways that I know and while my tendency is to bury myself in to-do lists to prepare, what I really need is to bury myself in the Lord as I ask Him for prayers for this baby, for grace for this next season, and to prepare my heart to be a mom.  What a tragedy it would be for me to have every sock, diaper, pacifier and dust bunny in it’s rightful place come October but to have missed out on all that the Lord wanted to do in my heart leading up to that moment.

All to say….  let the spiritual nesting begin.

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Responses

  1. Eliza Joy, can I just say that my heart is SO full for you. You will never again have a first baby. You will never again go from not being a mother, to being a mother. What a HUGE shift, but so absolutely precious. Oh, I wish I could be with you October 11th-ish. One of my greatest joys has been to be alongside the couple of moms I have had the privilege of serving during the sacred ground of labor/delivery. Pregnancy is not really my thing, but I absolutely LOVE labor and delivery. You are dear to me!


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