this realm and that realm

When I was new in my faith, I used to crave those times which I called “spiritual highs”.  As I have grown in age, I have learned from wise ones who have walked ahead of me on this path that faith is not about feelings.  It’s not about always being jazzed up.  It’s not about how high you can throw your hands in the air and how much you feel the love of God.  Though these feelings are great and are given from the Lord from time to time, we cannot live off of them. 

Lately, I feel this desire arising, again, within me.  However, it is different.  What used to be the craving for a spiritual high has been replaced by a longing simply to be sensitive to the Lord.  Let me explain.  It is easy to see and hear and interact in the physical realm on this Earth.  We do it every day.  But what about the spiritual realm?  What about the saying, “There is more than meets the eye.”  What about the eternal that we are supposed to fix our eyes on?  What about the home that we have in Heaven?  What even is going on in Heaven right now?  What is God thinking?  What is He doing?  These questions have been racing through my mind as of late.  Suddenly, it isn’t enough to merely interact in the physical realm.  I want more!!  I want to have a glimpse of what God is doing in my life.. in this place.. in this city.. in this world! 

What if I had gotten married to Russell but didn’t live with him.  Rather, what if I listened to people talk about him and if I read books about him but never got to see him and talk to him and hear him talk to me?  It would be utterly insane.  That’s kind of what I’m feeling right now.  In fact, Jesus even referred to himself as the bridegroom while talking to his disciples.  He told them, in essence, that they didn’t need to fast while he, the bridegroom, was with them.  But when He left, then they would fast and mourn.  Those words are sinking in lately.  I’m missing the bridegroom, the One to whom I was promised, and the One which I barely know.